Kid Talk

It’s so hard to know what to write about these days because there are so many topics to cover. I could write about the dismal state of attempts made to reverse Roe and all things sane, the dismal state of “news shows” that spread lies, the dismal attempt to ban books, the dismal art of war, the dismal approach to gun control (or lack thereof), the dismal act of growing older and getting frailer until, like a magician, I perform a disappearing act. (And, considering this outcome, I have to wonder why I get so worked up about all these other circumstances.)

But today I choose to document my son’s vocabulary between the ages of two and three (more to come with the birth of my daughter). And this is something I can talk about with confidence because I used to keep journals.

My son started talking in complete sentences before he was two. Steve used to tell a story his dad told him when he was growing up. It concerned Itsy Bitsy Bamboo Hieroglyphic Pompom Nesia and his brother Joe. Who could say this name at 23 months? Nathan, of course.

He held up two pieces of bread and said, “This is a sea. This is a boat. Do like this.” And he put the boat on the sea. At 24 months, he said, “Baby’s inside Mommy. I can’t see him very well. Baby’s drinking a bottle.” Now, that would be a feat!

I lay down beside him soon after, and he said, “Mommy, you go sleep on your own bed. I have mine.” Of course, that didn’t continue. Although he was a great napper before that time, he started to hate going to sleep at night! And no wonder! The poor kid had night terrors until he was five!

Nathan was very specific when I asked him what he did at Mothers Morning Out: “Play, eat, drink milk, drink juice, wait for our mothers.”

He had his first successful phone conversation at 26 months. In talking to my friend he said, “Hi, Mary Beth. Do you want to come over for a picnic? I just wanted to say hello. Bye-bye!”

At 26 months, he saw a convertible and commented, “That’s a crazy car; it has no lid on it!”

When he was 2 1/2, Nathan was very pleased when I gave him a fork to eat breakfast. He said, “Oh, this is a good-looking fork!”

When my water broke, I prompted Nathan to call his dad and say, “Mommy’s water broke!” On his own, he added, “Can you fix it?” Obviously, there was a gap of about 3 months before I started writing consistently again.

We used to have a teen come over to babysit, so I could study or catch up on chores. One day, I overheard Nathan tell the babysitter, “I don’t know why my parents have to go out of town.” He saw me and said, “Oh! One parents is here!”

At Christmastime, we rearranged his furniture. He took one look at it, plopped his head on the bed and said, “You poiled my whole yife!” It didn’t “poil” his ability to think things through, though. After going to church, he said, “We didn’t cut the Christmas tree off at church.” Not understanding, I said that we decorated it. But he said, “We didn’t trim it, though!”

Nathan loved to drink juice and milk to the exclusion of food. I told him he needed something solid and gave him cheese. He nibbled on it and said, “Boy, that sure is solid!”

I got angry at Nathan, and he said, “I think I lost her temper!” Who could stay mad at a guy like that?!

He expressed surprise when I told him I was once little: “I thought you were always a grown woman!”

Well, speaking as a grown woman now, I have things to do, places to go. More cuteness in future blog entries can be expected.